this post was submitted on 07 Sep 2023
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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (19 children)

It's nice to look good. The only reason men don't wear makeup is because it's not socially acceptable. However, lifting weights is the most common "beauty adjustment" for men and while it has other benefits than looking better, that's most of the reason most men do it.

Some beauty standards are cultural, but some are also simply biological, something everyone responds to. Clear skin for example, which makeup provides, is one such example of a natural attractiveness symbol, which is why it's so universal across almost all cultures.

How much and in which ways one wants to make themselves look better is something everyone needs to figure out for themselves. But wanting to and acting on it is not bad in itself, so I wouldn't shame anyone for putting on makeup, same as I wouldn't for someone not using it.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (7 children)

The only reason men don’t…because it’s not socially acceptable

Consider that there are other perfectly valid reasons men may not choose to wear makeup, such as not wanting to apply artificial / chemical-laden cosmetological garbage to our natural skin. Many women make this same choice, and they are all incredibly beautiful regardless.

True beauty goes far beyond these vain and superficial layers.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

they are all incredibly beautiful

I hate this sentiment. Can't we stay with the truth? Some people are not visually beautiful, and that's completely fine. I myself don't look beautiful. I like being able to handle that fact much more than lying to myself. I'm feeling much better since I accepted the fact that I'm not beautiful than when I tried to mislead myself but got proven wrong all the time.

[–] spikespaz 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't think that person meant strictly physically. But even if not, some people still have shit personalities.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Yeah I understood that, but it's about doing useful comparisons. If I want to hang a picture in my room, I don't really care if it has been painted with ecologically friendly colors, I mean I do of course, but if it doesn't look good, then it's not going onto my wall. The eco-friendliness of the colors maybe changes my choice from a selection of good-looking pictures.

It's kind of the same with erotic/romantic attraction. Yeah, someone beautiful in another area might be chosen over someone that's not visually beautiful, but everyone has got a kind of "minimum" visual attraction that they won't/can't go below and still be attracted to somebody. We are very visual creatures. Our looks are important.

Not ultimately important of course. Understanding that some avenues are closed not because of your own fault, but because you just got bad luck in the genetic lottery is imo much easier to handle than thinking "yeah I'm just as competitive in this romantic/sexual field as anybody else" when you then get continually proven that no, you're not, that other person that looks better than you got chosen over you. Because then you get into the real self worth problems, if you'd think that visuals did not matter, then obviously you're not being chosen because you're not beautiful anywhere else either. If it's "just" visuals, that can be worked around and much easier swallowed.

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