this post was submitted on 22 Mar 2025
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The Onion

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I generally trust America's Finest News Source for their TTT reporting. (Timely, Topical, Accurate)

However, I recently read an article, 'Experts Recommend Using Hunger As Egg Substitute', which had a glaring and obvious piece of misinformation. In this news, they write "It’s also vegan, cost-effective, and much lower in cholesterol compared to a typical egg-based dish.". Although I will concede that it is significantly more cost-effective (in the short term) than other substitutes, as a Vegan, I CANNOT STAND for this blatant and utter untruth. The body digesting it's stomach lining in hope of scrounging nutrients that aren't there simply cannot be construed as being anything other than 'eating meat'. I will stick to eating eggs, thank you.

I had previously enjoyed articles such as 'Your Horoscope — Today’s Birthday', 'We're Under New Management, Effective Immediately', and 'Heartbreaking: The Worst Person You Know Just Made A Great Point'.

Despite these previously outstanding articles from them, I will NO LONGER be reading their 'news'paper due to this CRITICAL offense.

yes this is OC, yes I did actually send this to them as an email, no I don't hate vegans

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[–] [email protected] -4 points 4 days ago (3 children)

I hate to break it too all the vegans out there but every human suggests millions of microbes every day. If they REALLY want to practice what they preach then they'd exterminate their entire gut biome so they wouldn't suggest any more microorganisms. A course of antibiotics, chemotherapy, and radiation should do the job.

[–] sirdorius 5 points 4 days ago

Poe's law is really confusing me here. It's funny if it's a joke, sad if it's an actual anti-vegan statement.

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