I've been waiting until after Christmas day to make this post, but some of our communities recently have had a lot of noise and upset over someone that uses neopronouns that most people are unfamiliar with.
So I want to make this clear. A persons pronouns are to be respected. This is true when the user is using neopronouns that you're unfamiliar with. It's true even if you think someone is trolling. Pronouns are not rewards for good behaviour. They aren't only to be respected when you like the person you're interacting with, or if their pronouns "make sense" to you. Trolls, spammers, twitter users, it doesn't matter who they are, your options are to respect their pronouns, or to not engage with them.
I really want to re-iterate the importance of this. Gender diverse folk are undermined, invalidated and questioned at every step of our lives. As a community, we need to be working to undo that, not creating more of it, and that means there is no space for treating pronouns (including neopronouns) as a reward for good behaviour.
This isn't a free reign for trolls and spammers. The rules still apply. Trolling, spamming, etc will continue to be dealt with, but it's not an excuse to act as if respecting someones pronouns is optional.
It makes a mockery of real gender issues. I fully support anyone who wants to be anywhere on the spectrum of existing genders. What I'm not sure I support is indulging people's possible mental illness by pretending it's ok that they believe they're a fictional creature that only exists in fantasy.
I'm really not trying to sound callous or offend anyone, but that's just not the same thing and I don't believe it should be treated with the same level of seriousness as actual gender fluidity.
We know that it is possible for people to be assigned one sex at birth, but then fit anywhere in the spectrum. We also know that it is not possible for someone's gender to be "unicorn." Because unicorns aren't real, and even if they were, they are not on the human gender spectrum.
I'm sure everyone will tell me how I'm wrong but whatever. This has nothing to do with transphobia. The opposite, in fact.
When people on the left legitimize these people's obviously absurd claims, it is used as a cudgel to harm the trans community. It legitimizes all of those stupid, "litter boxes in schools" things in many people's minds. It does more harm than good.
i could identify as a unicorn if i want and for you to think you need to fight against that makes you a bad person. Who are you to say the self images others can or cannot have?
If you think you can just identify as something at will, you don't understand gender. That attitude is an insult to the entire transgender community. Gender identity is not some fun feather you just stick in your cap. It's an immutable trait. You don't choose your gender identity, you simply have one.
That's maybe the most helpful argument I read here, I think I should reconsider what neopronouns are about.