Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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You say XMPP doesn't work for the request, why not?
@wildbus8979 @Bahnd Yeah, XMPP checks all the boxes. That said, I don't know how well encrypted group chats (MUC) work with various clients.
Also, while message contents are encrypted, metadata is not. Self-hosting ameliorates that, but if your "self-hosting" involves a VPS or whatever hosted by a giant corporation, then that's something to be aware of.