this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2024
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Showerthoughts
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A "Showerthought" is a simple term used to describe the thoughts that pop into your head while you're doing everyday things like taking a shower, driving, or just daydreaming. The best ones are thoughts that many people can relate to and they find something funny or interesting in regular stuff.
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I'll be the judge of that. What are your data points?
1.) I could give two shits about what the internet thinks on any given subject.
2.) I am not movitivated to use the internet for fun things like gaming, anymore.
3.) I want to crawl into a hole and fall asleep forever listening only to the humming of a sweet old lady.
4.) I look into my own eyes and see nothing.
5.) ... I dunno... I check the fridge for cheese more often then I check my own text messages.
6.) I took up smoking again and I don't even feel bad about the possible slow torturous death of lung cancer that awaits me.
7.) If I hear a child I am instantly annoyed(please don't hate me I don't have any kids of my own)
8.)I cannot write any
A rollercoaster. It was dropping until the cheese thing, which I think is just normal, unspoken behavior. Sounds to me like a bout of depression, or at least what I think is depression. I 100% get the same lethargy to life, and it tends to come in waves.
If you haven't, I'd look at having a chat with a professional. I'm not a good role model for this, but I have pushed through the lulls more times than I care to admit, and it gets tougher every year. The negative thoughts set in and create this negative feedback loop that makes functioning difficult, and digs a hole that's hard to climb out of.
Anecdotally, if this is new to you, it doesn't make for a happy life. I'm working to get help, but there are roadblocks. I would encourage you to try the same. If it doesn't help, then you can cross that bridge later. If it does, then you'll be in a much better place and the light will shine again.
...or the Internet really is just shitty.