this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2024
67 points (100.0% liked)

Transfem

3437 readers
104 users here now

A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.

To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]

Some helpful links:

Support Hotlines:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
67
submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

So I know everyone is going to answer "yes", but I want actual real thoughts. I just want to know where I fit in.

I'm AMAB, and present as male, at least on the surface. I've always felt that was wrong though. But I don't necessarily think I'm a woman. I wish I was more feminine. And recently I started full body laser hair removal, and I have pretty long hair, and currently have my toe nails painted. But I also have a beard, and otherwise present totally as cis.

Am I "trans"? I don't feel "cis", but I feel like calling myself trans just isn't accurate and is inappropriate. Is there any other option?

And a complicating factor is that I'm basically only attracted to female presenting people. I see a lot of mtf trans people posting online "t4t". Would other trans people consider me "trans"?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (4 children)

Hey OP I'm in a somewhat similar boat so maybe I can chime in to help.

I've pondered many many times if I'm trans/would like to present as a woman. Every time I come out of those introspection sessions feeling like I wouldn't mind being a woman at all (physically or not), but I also don't feel a strong desire to be one either, nor do I have feelings of dysphoria with regards to my current body (or euphoria at the idea of changing it to be like a woman's for that matter).

But like you I also think I wish I was more female presenting and I like "traditionally female" things, so to speak (as a silly anectodte, just this past summer I painted my whole room pink and started collecting plushies, even though I still have a thick ass beard).

I think in the end, if I were to label myself, this lands me somewhere in the non-binary spectrum, because I don't have a strong attachment to the notion of maleness and have never seen myself "fully" as a man, but I also don't think I could go around calling myself a woman either.

And after several years of this mental back and forth I frankly just now forgo the idea of labeling myself (which I guess could be a label like agender but I've never given it much thought). It's tiring and nothing ever feels like it fits entirely. I feel happier doing what I like and presenting how I like, and that's enough.

Of course this isn't to say you're the same as me, but I hope this helps broaden your horizons if you don't feel like you're trans but not exactly cis either.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I’m fairly similar to this myself. I don’t really care too much about my gender identity; it feels like if I woke up tomorrow in a female-presenting body, I’d be totally fine with being a woman. At the same time, I don’t mind being a man, and don’t have any strong desire to change anything.

At the end of the day, I don’t strongly identify with being either male or female, so I’ve just called myself gender apathetic. I stick with he/him pronouns because it’s easiest, but I’d be fine with any other pronouns as well. I’m me, and that’s the most important thing.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Any/All pronouns are powerful. I hope people in your life are respectful of that. You may want to have a look at agender labels and the communities associated with them. My partner is largely gender apathetic but dysphoric about being gendered femininely. They identify quite strongly with the term "agender" and I've learned a lot about that community through them.

load more comments (2 replies)