You could move out of your mother's basement
Greentext
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
Save up, go on a nice holiday overseas.
Save up, buy a house.
Take up a new expensive hobby like cycling or photography.
Donate to charity.
Donate to worthy political causes.
Get a dopamine hit from seeing number go up.
So many options.
Fund a random Twitch streamer's life while you stay at home doing nothing.
~~Donate to worthy political causes.~~
Buy a politician and actually change shit.
Buying a politician is expensive, here at Bribes.inc we’ve been trying to come up with a solution to achieve your goals for a lower price, and I’m proud to announce our new product, The Middle Ranking Bureaucrat. With it you’ll be able to perform all your goals at a fraction of a cost and a lot less risk. Want to evade taxes? Middle Ranking bureaucrat does that. Commit fraud and identity theft? We got you covered. Change how often a law is actually applied so you can advocate for its expansion or retraction? You bet. Call now 555-555-555 or come and talk to use at any of our agencies
Put money into retirement.
On average people need over $1,000,000 in it to retire comfortably now.
Start playing Magic. Your money will go POOF in no time.
See also: 40k minis, aka plastic crack.
Alternatively DnD minis, they are mostly cheaper, so you can buy even more!
I've been in this situation.
Get married to a single mom and you'll be broke again in less than a year and in debt the next. That's the quickest way to lose all of your money.
Didn't go the single mom route, but a wife and kids takes care of the free time and money problem.
Max 401k, Roth IRA, and HSA contributions. Buy a fleshlight.
There are way too many comments in this thread for it to be okay that yours is the only one mentioning investing for retirement.
Just goes to show you how few of your peers are actually saving for retirement
Don't forget the kids' 529
I don't think Anon will have to worry about that one...
Could even pay for porn at that point, crazy!
I'm all for it.
Support ethical porn sites that meet their actresses and actors with the respect they deserve.
Depends on character traits of anon.
Some invest/gamble
Some hoard wealth
Some uses it fight boredom like going to places, travelling, hobbies, etc.
Some try sharing with others or straight up doing charities
If you are young and there's nothing you really want to do with a significant amount of money, your emergency savings are decently big, and you don't intend to make a significant purchase in the near to mid future, then you find yourself a tax-free retirement account, a world index fund and an S&P 500 index fund and distribute money across them with the priority being reaching whatever is the max in the first one
- Save an emergency fund of 6-12 months of expenses. You never know when the rug will get pulled out from under you.
- Pay off all debts.
- Save at least 15% of income into retirement accounts (not counting any matches).
- Give to charity or random internet persons.
- Buy a house.
- Pay it off.
- Max all retirement accounts, invest in some mutual funds, give more.
Unironically anon has cracked the big secret of capitalism; the end goal doesn't matter until someone is trying to steal it from you, and they will try because some people are sick in the head
the big secret is that money is not the end goal. money is merely a tool to let you do other things you want to do. it's not an end, just a means.
Vacations, where every trip costs like a mid range gaming pc.
Send me $400 to buy a telescope lmao
Buy some more avocado toast?
Give some of it to poor people. Being disabled in this country sucks.
Use the money to lobby politicans to pass social assistance for the disabled
Buy a house and stop mooching off your parents?
I bought a house and my parents moved back in with me.
Be like me: so anxious at the prospect of running out of money you just never spend it.
Need new clothes? Is that really a need?
Want to try a hobby? If you don’t like it you’ll feel pretty silly having invested in it.
But a gaming PC? The parts will be obsolete in a year anyways.
Nice cookware? What’s wrong with ye older stuff, it still works just don’t use the bad side of the spatula or you’ll scratch the pan.
People when you tell them about saving your money
Google house
We are sunsetting Google House in accordance with our wider goal of shutting down everything. You will be evicted on march 2nd, 2024 and all buildings will be demolished between march 31 and june 1st. Thank you for being with us for this project!
Why god?
We launched Google House 7 years ago as an attempt to make shareholders think we are still capable of doing something useful. As we focus on making new short-lived products to perpetuate this lie, we no longer have the resources to maintain our rent collection system.
What will you do with the land?
We didn't think this far but the current plan is to leave them as gravel sanctuaries.
holy hell. I'll never afford
Well, life keeps kicking me in the balls and I currently need about $5000 to get back on track thanks.
Donate to Lemmy :)
Dildo collection
Travel around.
Enjoy the fact that there’s more and more money in your bank account? I personally find solace in that fact.