Shirts That Go Hard

Imagine being the guy at the novelty T-Shirt company, who takes requests.

And then THIS order comes in.....

Imagine a world where people just wear their dating profile on the back and then someone who fancy them says "I'm down for that, where's your consent form?".

This reads like a EULA

This feels like we're making fun of someone with clear social disabilities.

I don't like it.

The longer you read it, the more bizzarely specific and funnier it gets

It's like the intro text scroll to a Star Wars movie...

I'll rather do:

The Country Needs You!

If you're legally blonde,

apply here.

Service grants citizenship.

Note:" Brevity is the soul of advertisement"

There must be easier less public ways to declare yourself a permanent virgin.

I would not hang around that guy in that shirt. Hell, just jbowing he owned that shirt would make me terminate a friendship. That's fucking insane.

Seeing this in the wild my first thought would be that he lost some kind of bet or has been challenged into wearing this in a crowded place.

Lawful evil

In the future for this guy; getting shived in prison for being a pedo.

4chan irl

Pathetic.

How were they able to catch a picture of him before he got swarmed by 17 and 18 year old blondes.

Someone needs to put this text into a Star Wars style opening crawl

I was waiting for that line found commonly on neckbeardy requirements...must be an untouched virgin who is skilled in sexual techniques and can meet my needs and desires at any point in the day

This is just so ridiculous, it's hard for me to believe he actually believes or thinks this way. My assumption, and maybe I'm too optimistic here, is that he saw this and thought it was stupid funny and decided to buy/wear it to be immature funny/edgy...

I just can't fathom someone wearing this unironically. In which case, severe mental/cognitive issues?

It looks photoshopped.

I want to be believe he lost a bet or dare. If not, I think this person would have more luck forgetting about dating and going super niche into a competitive hobby. Getting into a competitive hobby isn’t about getting laid, but about focusing your frustrations into something goal oriented and controllable. You cannot make someone like you, but you can become the god of your hobby kingdom. Maybe along the way they’ll learn social skills and graces which might help with getting laid.

Sometimes I think there should be a dating app specifically for awkward and less conventionally attractive people.

It's nice for him to be inclusive of 18! year olds. Dating can be difficult for ladies in their mid-quadrillions.

The man has a type, and that type is either 17 or 6402373705728000 years old.