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I've lost it all and I don't know how to handle it (lemm.ee)

submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

37 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Let me start. I previously resided in a north eastern US state, I had a good job, a good partner, a nice place to live. I thought I'd made it.

I started having medical problems, discovered I carry certain genes and such. Was having trouble getting them diagnosed, but such is life.

Then my good partner left me, I lost my job of a year and a half, and I thought a fresh start near family would be good. I decided to move cross country. Which I regret, I want to leave but now I don't have the resources so here I am.

I just can't seem to get a job, I've applied at over 2000 jobs in the last 6 months. My previous job was managing the entire technology infrastructure for an IT company. The one before that was the IT Manager for a small company. I have the experience, but I can't get a job.

Last night I swerved to avoid deer in the road, got stuck in the mud and had to get towed out. I'm flat broke, I can't get a job, I have nothing. I lost everything. And I don't see myself ever recovering it. I have the experience and skill to do at least mid and some high level IT work.

I desperately want a remote job because my car is not reliable, my partner got the good car sadly. I've certainly made mistakes, I've certainly failed. But I don't think I deserve this much pain and suffering. I have nothing, I've lost it all. I can't find a job. I don't dare look for a partner while I'm a dead broke loser, so I have no one to share with.

Anyways, I apologize for whining and crying, I know we're all going through things. But I have nowhere to vent and it just keeps getting worse and I honestly don't think I'll ever get out.

Love you all. Thanks for reading. Please think of me when you get a chance and send good vibes my way.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Work something outside your normal skillset as a stopgap measure. Maybe you'll find a new passion. The world just changed around you, don't assume that the time and skills you've developed so far will continue to pay off. Sunken cost fallacy. Find a new niche, make yourself good at it. Gig work, odd jobs, keep a goal in mind and work towards it.

It can very easily overwhelm you, so try to think of how proud someone that loves you will be when you pull yourself out of it. Believe that they want to be there for you, to help you, regardless of if you're proud of those decisions or not. I don't care about embarrassment or ego, I care about having those I love actively in my life.

Talk to people, don't let your sadness fester. It's ok to cry, but don't let it be all you do.

Live today, not in the past of your relationship or the future you once dreamed up. Live today with today's challenges and make a new plan for tomorrow.

I hope you'll be ok. There's love out there, I hope you can feel a tiny bit of it from this internet stranger. Please let me know when (not if) things turn and start looking better.