this post was submitted on 10 Aug 2024
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The real secret to dating after 35 - don't.
Folks are not looking to "date": they're after long term commitment OR quick hook ups. The middle ground really vanishes when you get older!
you can't build a successful relationship without dating and getting to know if you're a good fit.
Yes and no; I've met some people who were great to date but hell to live with.
A good relationship starts with both people knowing what they want - and continual contact helps determine if the other person is being honest about what they want. Post 35/30, this process is often a lot faster, and dating skill matters less than ability not to annoy the person you're suddenly around 24/7.
If it matches from the start, or a compromise grows, you're in for a winner. Otherwise, back to the sea of the undead you go, no matter how good your dating skill!
That’s all dating is before 35 too. I mean what middle ground? Do you think people are going out with the intention of dating for a year or two?
Intention and reality are two different things - although I can't say I ever managed casual dating for 2 years! Usually most folks are in a relationship after 1.
Sorry, no. Source: life experiences. It's just you should clarify up front.
I think it goes further than that - post 35 (post 30 really) there is a lot more pressure to shift from casual dating to a relationship at a faster pace.
Life experience talking here too, it isn't just "being upfront", it's also being willing to move at a faster pace.